Happy almost December Sister! So - it's November for a few moments still but holy cow - has the time just flown by or what? I have to admit the change of season is hard but in only 3 weeks we come back into the light - yeahoo! And then only three months 'till spring!
So the three things I'm MOST grateful for are these:
1. My health - two years ago I was so sick I could hardly walk - now it's all I can do to not dance morning noon and night! Also, I am re-learning how to do the things I love to do in a much safer way for my spine ~ so glad there are GREAT teachers out there!
2. Mama Earth - She does so much for me and knowing that every day I save 1,100 gallons of water, 45 pounds of grain, 30 sq ft of forested land, 20 lbs CO2 equivalent, and one animal’s life due to my vegan lifestyle makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
3. JOY - this seems silly, maybe even frivolous but honestly, the amount of joy I have on a daily basis is something I give thanks for every day. And when I get bogged down with the nitty gritty of daily chores (and I do) I centre, ground and bracket around it and remember my higher purpose here in this time - Spreading Joy. That's it. easy.
What three things are you grateful for and why? Bonus points if you post it on my blog!
Big Love sista!
So something funny/ironic happened to me the other day - I was at this very special raspberry bush (that I do tend to frequent) and a guy with a name the same as one I am in conflict with rolled up in his car and was like "hey awesome, raspberries - I love raspberries." And without thinking about what I needed in this exchange I gave him ALL my raspberries out of my hand and then he just rolled away as fast as he came.
Now it took me a while, and a few great soul sisters to figure this one out. So me just giving away my bounty to the dude that rolled up to me - named the same name as the one I am trying to sort things out with - was definitely a 'sign' and this is what they suggested:
Next time a dude rolls up to me whether in a car or on foot, instead of handing over all my 'goodies' invite him to harvest that goodness with me, get to know me, and co-create our bounty. wow. What a lesson from raspberries! The were delicious!
Luv and Light~ Kelly xx
I'm writing this blog at the very last moment of summer vacation (for me) because I've been soaking up all the sunshine, beach and deliciousness that August has to offer - even the tough stuff! You heard me right, even the tough stuff. For example, three weeks ago tonight I walked away from a romantic relationship (that I really wanted to work out) why? Because I learned he was just kickin' it with me - and you know what, no one likes to be kicked.
So if you don't know him believe it or not the man to thank is comedian Steve Harvey. Now I'm not saying everything in his book is gold but for the time as I was dating this guy it came in as a fantastic resource to see where this man was at in his life - and if he was actually relationship material or just playin'.
And you know what, he clearly was not ready for a relationship and Steve gave me the questions to ask to suss that information out, because let me tell ya, the 'baby's' and sweet kisses sure can make it hard to see your way through the man thicket = a micket?
Anyway, the book is called Straight talk, no chasers and like my book (My Year Off Men) it's really about putting yourself first - but this one was written by a man! Finally the inside scoop to add, I hope to what I wrote. So without giving away the contents I totally suggest the 5 questions you need to ask any man before you get in too deep (and let me know how it goes) Hint: A man who is ready for a relationship will want to answer your sweetly put questions about his goals and dreams and then some. This is because he will have a plan and either know who he is and what he wants or be taking steps in his life right now to get there. Who-ya!
All I can say is that without Steves' help I would still be repeating the pattern of not being clear on how a man thinks and still be in the sport fish zone - no thanks!
Luv and So much Light Sister! xoxo
So, this is so embarrassing and I hate to admit to it but here it goes: I've always believed I was NOT a jealous person and I had to come face to face with the little green eyed monster this week. So I searched and asked everyone the question how do I get rid of it or at least transform it?
It feels awful doesn't it? So after a night of chatting with a few soul-sisters it dawned on me that tantra - what I have been dedicated to practising for over two years now was the answer.
As I understand it in Tantric relating when you feel aggression coming on (and you want to devour the other person) that's when you take a step back and allow that energy to cleanse through you to create an inner peace instead of that wanting more feeling. So with being Jealous it was a matter of 'backing the Heck down' and coming back to myself peacefully.
I guarantee you will never be able to control another enough to assuage your jealousy - which is really what it's all about. All you can do is: back off, breath cleansingly through your body, let go and love yourself and the other - unconditionally. Whew. Don't worry this can take time and practice but it can work! It can also help to embody why you're so great and why whoever it is you're jealous of would actually really be lucky to be you too - because hey, you're pretty special. Coming from that place of equality can do wonders for quelling jealousy.
I totally look forward to hearing your stories of overcoming green-eyed-ness as we can all use a little perspective sometimes, and I'm sure it won't be the last time for me either - but I'm workin' at it~
So Much Love,
P.s. I'm being a featured writer in an e-zine soon and have another book reading coming up in the fall - more on that soon! xo
I used to be a wild woman. Sounds fun I know. The more adventuresome and reckless the experience the more I would jump at the opportunity. There was even a time I took a job online and within 24 hours decided to move all the way to the Middle East. Just like that. Many of my friends told me they lived vicariously thorough my adventures, but that all changed when I got sick.
It turns out I wasn't treating my body very well on these adventures and I felt a twinge in my tummy at the impending doom sneaking up upon me – so naturally I ignored it and hoped on my plane. Within weeks I was back in Canada with no clue as to what was happening to my body or where to go for help. I mean what was I to learn from my body revolting against me? In that moment I would have said nothing, but as some years hind sight has shown me – I've learned a lot.
Because I did daily meditations on this I found out three really important things based on the fact that the body “operates on the premise that sensation, breath and movement are the body's form of speech and that if we listen to this speech we can complete and release stored trauma, relearn how to feel excitement and pleasure and engage in activities that nourish.” Christine Caldwell, Getting our Bodies Back.
My Body is my greatest teacher when it comes to how I'm feeling, emotionally.
I had this job once that every morning before work I felt such anxiety I had to literally be still and meditate so I could calm down enough get to this high stress workplace. My body was telling me something especially when my back went out because this was not a nurturing or supportive environment to work in. The back being my 'support centre' was a tell tale sign I did not feel supported in the job I was currently in – so I made a switch and things have gotten better.
My Body is my best barometer for my life's situation.
Call it a gut feeling or even anxiety but when a situation is 'off' somehow my body knows it. For me it starts with some fluttering in my chest to a tense jaw. Then if I really ignore what my body is saying to me it goes further to some serious digestion problems. Interestingly enough often my symptoms quickly resolve when I ask myself 'what's going on here or what do I need here?' Unless of course I ate something bad the night before, and then of course my body is telling me something else entirely.
My Body is a non-renewable resource: So use with care.
I was wild...I still kinda' am but I actually ask my body if it's able to do the things I want it to do now. For example, I danced all weekend and boy it was fun. Intuitively I knew I could handle this with my back and health but last weekend, no way, I needed rest. I also think that's why I was able to cope with one of the most stressful weeks I've had since moving to the city because I listened when my body said slow down so that it could recharge.
Sometimes honoring myself means saying no to the present situation so that in the future I can say yes to the things I want to do. It means having boundaries around my health (and sanity) so that I can be at my best when needed for me and others. So as far as being a wild woman I'd say I still have the makings of one I'm just a wiser, wilder version of myself, and I hope that given time and space to hear your body speak to you, you can hear that wise woman too.
Last night while getting my car towed and not being super present to what was going on (thinking about what I was missing) out of the blue I got hit in the chest with a big furry bumble bee! And that's not all - they seem to be everywhere when I haven't seen them for years - there was also a pretend one I saw hanging from a tree Monday night!
Coincidence? Maybe, but because I 'see' signs I'm taking this one with the notion to get back into the present and Just Bee - I know after my roller coaster this month it was exactly the not so subtle advice I needed when my sweet bee friend flew into my chest, one could even say my heart. What do you think? Have you got any signs this spring like me?Could you benefit from my Just Bee signs? Post below because I'd love to hear them.
Much Love, Kelly ~ xo
Ships in the Night
Welcome my sweet soul sister,
So. We've been talking a lot about relationships with ourselves but I've been hearing 'Kelly what about our intimate relationships?!' I hear ya – because let's be honest we're never gona work all our shite out before we get involved - and that makes sense. We formed our issues in relationships in our formative years so it will be in relationship in our adult years that we will work them out – once we've worked them as best as we can on our own of course.
Getting in Relationship is the test! Now speaking of Ships I want to introduce you to my two favourite ships Mary and Bob. They met in the harbour (just like I met my ship a few weeks ago) and both looked pretty good on the surface. What you don't see are all the drag nets underneath the two ships that are carrying many issues from the past. Due to these' drag nets' in a relationship one can easily make their partner subconsciously responsible for all of the stuff they are dredging along with them, which equals= expectation, hurts, past disappointments, x relationships, mommy/ daddy issues and mythologies from the past.
I really thought I was above all this: but it turns out that regardless of all the work I've done on my own because it was in relationship I gathered those drag nets of baggage, it will be in relationship I learn to rework them and maybe even let them go.
Action you can take:
Right after this video write down 5 complaints you have about your partner or past partner and then go back to the top and take a moment to see where these complaints go deeper into your past. For example, Your partner is always late. When you look back at that complaint you see maybe it stems from one of your parents never being on time to pick you up from school and it made you feel very unloved and unimportant.
Next time when that complaint rears it's ugly head go back to your list and share why you are upset with an illustration of what it goes back to. You are more likely to create understanding and intimacy when it goes back to your feelings and not blaming your partner.