Welcome my sweet soul sister,
So. We've been talking a lot about relationships with ourselves but I've been hearing 'Kelly what about our intimate relationships?!' I hear ya – because let's be honest we're never gona work all our shite out before we get involved - and that makes sense. We formed our issues in relationships in our formative years so it will be in relationship in our adult years that we will work them out – once we've worked them as best as we can on our own of course.
Getting in Relationship is the test! Now speaking of Ships I want to introduce you to my two favourite ships Mary and Bob. They met in the harbour (just like I met my ship a few weeks ago) and both looked pretty good on the surface. What you don't see are all the drag nets underneath the two ships that are carrying many issues from the past. Due to these' drag nets' in a relationship one can easily make their partner subconsciously responsible for all of the stuff they are dredging along with them, which equals= expectation, hurts, past disappointments, x relationships, mommy/ daddy issues and mythologies from the past.
I really thought I was above all this: but it turns out that regardless of all the work I've done on my own because it was in relationship I gathered those drag nets of baggage, it will be in relationship I learn to rework them and maybe even let them go.
Action you can take:
Right after this video write down 5 complaints you have about your partner or past partner and then go back to the top and take a moment to see where these complaints go deeper into your past. For example, Your partner is always late. When you look back at that complaint you see maybe it stems from one of your parents never being on time to pick you up from school and it made you feel very unloved and unimportant.
Next time when that complaint rears it's ugly head go back to your list and share why you are upset with an illustration of what it goes back to. You are more likely to create understanding and intimacy when it goes back to your feelings and not blaming your partner.